Chemo Round One

It's been awhile since I've updated I guess.  Life got a bit busy. I was feeling great and got to go back to work for a bit, so that felt amazing, but added to our pretty busy spring schedule.  I'm now six weeks out from my mastectomy, and that recovery continues to go really well. I really feel pretty good there, other than the expanders still being really annoying.  They're getting better in the day to day, just still hard to sleep comfortably with them.  All I want is to be able to curl up on my side and get cozy.

The kids got me this tank for Christmas this year, and I thought it was perfect for chemo day one.

The biggest change is that I've started chemo.  Last week I went in for our little "Chemo Class" appointment. They call it a survivorship appointment. I think they're just trying to make it not sound so awful. It was a terrible appointment.  I understand the need for it, but it was rough.  They basically laid out about 6-7 pages of every symptom that could happen.  It was scary and I broke down.  It became so real.  Then, this week was go time.  My first round was on Wednesday.  I was a ball of nerves before this.  The unknown is definitely the scariest part about this whole process I think, and there are so many unknowns.   I decided to try the Paxman Scalp Cooling System, so I had that all packed up and ready to go.  We did a trial run on Tuesday night, and Cullen got that sucker on tight!  I had blankets, heating pads, a book, my new air pods that my brother Jeff surprised me with, and I was ready to go. When I got there, they did labs first, and then we were off.  The whole thing took about 5 hours.  The first half hour was a drip of steroids and anti-nausea meds.  This is also when the pre-cooling of my cap happened. I was super scared for this, as it said it would feel like a bad brain freeze for about 10-20 minutes.  It was super cold, but definitely tolerable.  My nurse was going over a lot of info during that time, so it was nice distraction.  Then each of my two chemo meds took an hour. I am taking Taxotere and Cyclophosphomide.  After those were done, there is a 90 min post cooling time on the scalp cooling system.  The day wasn't awful.  Cullen was able to be there with me the whole time, and I was definitely able to laugh at myself and how silly I looked in my cap.

That night,  I was feeling okay, and even able to make it to both of my girls softball games.  So here we are now, 3 days out.  I feel pretty much like I've been hit by a truck.  The Neulasta drug that they give me to boost my white blood cell count does that I guess.  It kicks your bone marrow into overdrive to make new cells to help fight infections, but man it does a number on the bones and joints.  Claritin is supposed to help, so I'm trying that, but it's still pretty rough. My whole body hurts all over.  Aside from that, it is really just extreme exhaustion.  Thankfully I haven't had much nausea so I hope that continues. They have medicine to offset that should it happen.  Sleep hasn't come easily, surprisingly, as I'm so tired.  I just can't get comfortable.  I really wish I could just sleep these days away.  So that's where we are for now.  The next few weeks will be interesting,  as I guess I just await any other side effects to see how this hits me.  The shedding of my hair should start around day 14.  I still expect to have some of that, even with the cap.  But hopefully it isn't too noticeable.  Though I have to believe it will still be a bit of shocker to have it happen.  So that's really the update as of today.  Just battling on and so glad to have at least the first day of chemo behind me.  Please continue to pray for minimal side effects, and that this is all mostly tolerable for me.  Please pray for my kiddos, as I know it's hard to see me being so down and out.   I'd really appreciate it.  Right now I'm feeling pretty down.  It's so hard to sit and feel so crappy, when it's so beautiful outside, and life seems to just be whirling on around me while I'm kind of stuck in here feeling crummy.  I know it has to happen, and I know it is a short time in the big picture of things, but right now it just kind of sucks. If I'm being honest, it's about as down and bummed out as I've been so far on this cancer road. I know I can do this. I know many strong women have traveled this road before me, and I know I can do it too. One day, one moment,  at a time.

Bonus, since I had to take Thursday off, I was able to sneak over to join Harper in her Japanese Tea Party.  When you're a working mom, you often miss out on these things, so she was thrilled to see me there, and I was thrilled to be able to  be there for her.  Holding on to those little victories! Take that cancer!